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You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
Warning: Dates in
Calendar are closer than they appear.
The Gene Pool Could Use A Little Chlorine
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Did Washington just
flash a quarter for his ID?
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
Lead me not into
temptation... I can find the way myself
Give Me Ambiguity Or Give Me Something Else
If you try to fail
and succeed, which have you done?
Montana: At Least The Cows Are Sane
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday"
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Invest In America:
Buy A Congressman
Earth Is Full - Go Home
My school colors
were clear.
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
What Can You Say About Liberals That Hasn't Already Been Said
About
Hemorrhoids?
So Many Pedestrians So Little Time
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
If Progress Means To Move Forward - What Does Congress Mean?
Puritanism: The
haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
How Do I Set A Laser Printer To Stun?
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Fight crime, buy a gun!
Lorena Bobbit for White House Intern.
The problem with
the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard
If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
Politics - From The Words "Poly," Meaning "Many,"
And "Ticks," As In
"Small, Blood-Sucking Parasite"
He Who Dies With The Most Toys... Still Dies
If crime fighters fight crime, and fire fighters fight fire, then what do freedom fighters fight?
"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR"
If a man is talking in the woods, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
God Please Save Me From Your Followers
How much deeper
would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
Minimum Wage For Politicians
Those Who Abandon Their Dreams Will Discourage Yours
I Haven't Lost My Mind It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
Oh, Evolve!
Dare To Think For Yourself
My Son Isn't An Honor Student - He Plays Hockey
I Think - Therefore I Don't Listen To Dan Rather
Hang Up And Drive
If you tailgate me, I'll flick boogers on your windshield. (Contributed by Sarah Carby) new
My dog is smarter than your honor student. (Contributed by Sarah Carby) new